A Tale Of Namek
by Shishkamoosh
Summary: A silly pointless story about something that never happened on Namek. amusing, but annoying. :p


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A Tale Of Namek.

By shishkamoosh

The sparkling turquoise water lapped against the dark terracotta rocks that were scattered around the shore made for a perfect hiding place. The figure crouched behind one of the lager rocks slowly raised their head before vanishing again quickly. Meanwhile, behind another rock, another figure hid from view. Neither one new of the others existence, but both hid from the same foe.

"Come out! I know that you're around here somewhere! Tell me now!"

The third figure appeared on the scene, looking tired and agitated. His hair was long, he was tall and muscular, and quite powerful.

"If you don't come out I'll blast you out! And then I'll stomp on your head." He paused to think of more nasty comments. About two zillion years later he spoke again.

"And then, I'll eat your arms off. And don't think that I won't do it, because I haven't eaten for at least half an hour, and I'm just a wee bit peckish." He focused his eyes to try and see behind the rocks. If the girl were there, then wouldn't you think that he had intimidated her just a bit? After another year of thought he decided to blow up each rock, one by one.

KABOOM!

The biggest rock turned quickly into a smoke cloud. As the air cleared, a young woman lay on the ground with a helmet on her head and her arms pushing it down. Which seemed perfectly illogical as it was strapped on to start with. She opened one eye slowly and moved it up until she was looking at the longhaired gentleman. And he was looking right back at her.

"Um, hi." she squeaked.

"I was about to say the exact same words. Funny that." the side of his mouth was raised into a smile.

"Well, um, then I guess that, um, I have to go now." by this time she had raised herself up and stood facing him.

She prodded the ground with her toe, put her helmet on and ran.

"Bya!"

A second later, the big guy that was after her registered that she was gone.

"HEY! Where'd you go?" realizing that she probably wouldn't answer, he wandered off to look for her.

Meanwhile, the young woman had run behind another rock. She took a step back and tripped over a rather strange looking log that yelped in shock as she fell backwards.

"Ahh!" she yelled quietly "A talking log!"

"Get off me you idiot! Go away! This is my hiding place!" still unable to see who was underneath her, she rolled over to come face to face with a man, not much older than herself.

"Hey! You're not a talking log!"

"Get, off me!" his voice seemed strained, and his eyes motioned to where she was sitting.

She looked down to see that her knees were in the most inopportune place possible.

"Um, sorry." she mumbled before rolling off the man and thudding onto the ground.

"Ouch!" rubbing the small of her back she looked at the annoyed man next to her and turned red "Look, I'm really sorry. Honest!"

"God woman! Couldn't you have chosen another rock, in the millions of rocks there are on this hell hole of a planet?"

"Hey mister! I said I was sorry! Anyway, it's not like I wanted you to be behind this rock! I was running from that muscle head back there! He thought I knew where the Dragonballs were, which of course I didn't! Or I'd be long gone by now." 

"Dragonballs? You're looking for them too? And Zarbon?" he raised an eyebrow.

She stopped momentarily and glanced at him before continuing again about how she came to be here. All too soon this woman came back into his memory. He knew her voice. It was just so annoying, and loud. It bashed his ears each time she spoke, crushing his eardrums and pounding on his brain. He tried to concentrate but his mind gave up. 

"…So then I jumped behind a rock and tripped over you! Anyway, what are you doing here? And more to the point, who are you?"

He opened his eyes and removed his hands from his ears.

"Well? I asked you a question, so answer me!"

"I'm here because I'm looking for the Dragonballs you spoke of, and my name is Prince Vegeta of Vegetasei."

The woman looked up very slowly. He was wearing Sayajin armour, and had spiky black hair. Her eyes grew wide, her face turned an off white and she opened her mouth to scream. Vegeta grabbed her and put a hand over her mouth.

"Shh! Do you want him to find us?!"

She widened her eyes even further.

"I take that as a no. Now, I'm going to let you go and take my hand off your mouth. You scream, you die. Got it?"

He let go of her and she fell back on the ground.

"H-how come you don't kill me? V-v-vegeta?"

"Shut up woman! Don't give me any ideas."

"Hey! My name is not woman! My name is Bulma!"

"I thought I told you to shut up!"

He shot her a death stare before leaning himself against the rock. She shut her mouth and moved up next to him.

****

"Psst! Vegeta! Wake up!"

"Go 'way."

"Wake up! He's coming back!"

"Who's back? Who're you?" he yawned loudly and opened an eye.

"It's that guy! He's like, two rocks away!" After no attempt to wake was made, Bulma shook Vegeta's shoulders. Vegeta woke at once, and looked cautiously around the rock.

"He's coming closer! Vegeta! He's gonna kill us! Ohwahawaa!!!! I, don't, want, to DIE!!!!" she covered her eyes and crouched in a ball.

"Listen! Shut up Woman! If you keep whingeing I will throw you to him!" Bulma stopped. Vegeta nodded, then he looked down again "And get up!"

Cautiously, Bulma raised her head and looked up over the rock. Bad move. 

"Owh oh."

"What?"

"Ummm, Vegeta, can you fly?"

"Yes. Why?"

"Because he's seen us."

"Shit."

At that point in time a lot of things happened. Zarbon threw a rather large ki blast, which blew up the rock, Bulma hugged Vegeta's waist and Vegeta took flight, and a meteor fell at the same moment onto Zarbon's head.

"Wow!" Bulma looked in awe at the crater that now occupied most of what was the rocky beach.

"Ahem."

"Hmm?" She glanced up at Vegeta's head.

"Get off me NOW!"

"Oh. Right, sorry! Umm, well the thing is, we're up pretty high, so if you could just put me down on that hill over there?" Bulma grinned sheepishly.

Vegeta smirked.

"Oh no."

And grabbed her arms.

"Please don't!"

And threw her.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!"

To the hill.

"Please Kami! Don't let me die without getting married!"

Bulma closed her eyes and awaited a hard and painful death.

But it never came. She opened her eyes to see that she was an inch from the ground, and maneuvering herself, she looked up to see Vegeta like shape with a bright corona.

He let go and she fell to the grass with a thud. 

"Owww!" She rubbed her head, "Vegeta, why'd you do that?"

"I don't know myself actually. Probably because you would only have broken a limb, and I would have heard you complaining no matter where I went."

"Thanks a lot baka!" She sat up and looked around.

"Ohhhhh! Now what am I going to do? Stupid Namek!"

She looked up again to see that Vegeta was still there. 

"Ummm, what are you doing?"

"I dunno. Waiting…"

"Waiting for what?"

"Well, umm Zarbon isn't dead yet."

"How do you know? A meteor fell on him! I'd sure as hell be dead if a meteor fell on MY head. I reckon that he is dead, and that there is some other reason why you are here, and not somewhere else, like I would appreciate if you were."

"Do you ever shut up woman?"

"No."

"That was simple."

"What is the point of carrying on with stuff when you can get to the point and everyone can have a good time. I am all for sticking to the point and going as fast as possible."

"You are the biggest hypocrite that I have ever met."

"I am not a hypocrite! YOU are!"

"What?! How are you so stupid? Why don't I just kill you already?"

"Because I have the dragonball radar and YOU don't!"

Bulma folded her arms and smiled smugly, before covering her mouth with her hands.

"Nonononono! I DON'T have the dragonball radar. That was what I meant to say."

"Nice try chicky babe, but you just blew your cover!"

"And just HOW do you plan on getting it? Hmm? I know where it is, and you don't."

Vegeta smirked and formed a blast in his hand.

"Give me the radar."

"Ohhhh! That's not fair! I made it1 It's mine!"

"Mine now! Now where is it?"

Bulma motioned to her chest.

"Thank you."

With that Vegeta grabbed Bulma and reached down the front of her dress.

Bulma scowled.

"Got it!"

He raised the radar in triumph.

"Pervert! Managed to have a good feel around while you were there didn't you?"

"I won't deny it! Thanks!"

With that Vegeta flew off. Bulma poked her tongue out and sighed.

"Now what am I meant to do?"

Rummaging around in her pocket she pulled out her capsules. 

"Ahh, this one looks good."

With that she pressed the end, and POOF, an umbrella, deck chair and Long Island iced tea appeared.

"Well, after that I could do with a drink."

"So could I."

Bulma looked up to see Zarbon standing over her.

"Sure! I'll just press another capsule."

In an instant a mini bar and fridge were set up next to her.

"So what'll it be?" 

She looked up at him.

Zarbon facefell. Shrugging, Bulma lay out on the chair and took a sip of her drink.

The End. 


End file.
